Listening Helps Learning

When your child comes to you with a problem that has been frustrating him, it is very tempting to offer him lots of advice, but new studies show that just listening to your child helps him work through his problems on his own. In fact, it might be best not to interrupt him with tips and suggestions as he’s voicing his concerns. That is because giving your child a chance to talk the problem out helps him figure out the solution for himself. It’s much more helpful for your child’s problem solving skills when your child finds the answer on his own than when you tell him the solution.

You can apply this research by encouraging your child to explain things to you. Ask for details about what he is learning in school. Have him explain how he found the answer to a problem in his math homework. Studies prove that a child who verbally explains how they solved a problem will have an easier time solving similar problems in the future. It is never too early to begin, either. Researchers tested four year olds in this study and found that they enjoyed the learning benefits just as much as the older kids did.

If your child is preparing for a big test, this is a great method to help him learn. During study breaks, ask him to explain to you what he was just reading. If he is struggling in math, have him teach you new concepts he learns in school. Try not to interrupt him with questions, but do encourage him to give a full explanation. (Who knows, you might learn something too!)

It can be difficult to refrain from guiding him to the solution when your child is frustrated with his homework. If he is feeling burnt out, suggest that he take a break before coming back to the problem. Then, rather than giving him the first step, ask him what he thinks he should do first. Encourage him to verbalize his thoughts. He will be so much happier with himself (and he’ll learn more, too) when he comes to the answer on his own. If he is totally lost, you might try to give subtle hints, but do not be tempted to explain the entire solution. This also takes the pressure off parents who feel they are expected to have all the answers. Kids have the tools to find the answers; sometimes they just need a little encouragement.

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