The Power of Praise

There is an endless amount of advice out there when it comes to disciplining your child, but the most important part of discipline is often overlooked: praise. Every parent is quick to punish when their child does wrong, but it’s equally if not more important to recognize when they do something right. Experts agree that praise is necessary for good emotional health, and kids who feel loved and appreciated are less likely to turn to drugs or other risky behaviors in the future. The most effective praise goes beyond a little positive comment like “Good job!” For your child to feel that he’s succeeded, you should give a substantial reason for the praise he’s received. Make sure your child understands what he’s done to deserve such good feedback. When you notice that your child hung up her coat after she walked in the door, let her know. A hug or another physical cue is positive reinforcement for good behavior.

It is essential that you give a reason as to why their behavior is helpful or positive. When your child tells you all about her weekend at a friend’s house, explain that you enjoyed hearing her stories and that knowing what she’s doing helps you trust her more. If your child loads the dishwasher, let him know how helpful it is, since you’re so busy with other things. When you see your child complete her homework and chores as soon as she gets home from school, point out that she has so much more time for fun things.

Rewards are a great way to praise good behavior, too. If your child is consistent about coming home on time, let her stay out an extra hour to show that she’s earned your trust. Simple privileges like this go a long way toward reinforcing good habits.

There is a lot of controversy surrounding praise, however. Some experts say that too much or the wrong kind of praise can hurt rather than help a child. For example, it’s been proven that telling a child she is “smart” can discourage her from trying things she’s not naturally good at, so she won’t look “stupid.” On the other hand, kids who are praised for their hard work are more likely to take on difficult challenges. That’s why it’s always important to praise a child for her efforts rather than her ability. Every child is born with unique talents, but it is hard work and action, not natural ability, that pays off in the long run.